Not to be the voice of doom and gloom, but if you believe for even a minute that the gods, in any of their guises, are done with us yet in the most memorable year we’d all like to forget, think again. There are four more months of possible havoc to be wreaked before we get to watch the shiny ball descend to an empty Times Square.
For the first time since Guy Lombardo first led his Royal Canadians in a chorus or two of Auld Lang Syne does the song seem inappropriate. It’s damned hard to drink “a cup o’ kindness” through a facemask. And who wants to be reminded of an auld acquaintance who might have been the one to have stuck a six-inch bottle brush up each nostril to tickle your brain’s frontal lobe in search of the dreaded covid-19 while you sat helplessly in your car, clutching the wheel as if you were about to crash into a concrete abutment?
Nobody knows what’s going to happen come November 3, our national election day that may cosmically shift the earth on its axis or be cancelled in the name of authoritarianism. I understand that we might not even make it to then because an asteroid, the cleverly named 2018 VP1, is hurtling towards earth and is due to either hit or miss on Nov. 2.
The asteroid was discovered in 2018 by astronomers using a robotic telescope called the Zwicky Transient Facility on Palomar Mountain in California. They were looking for dangerous space rocks and found one.
I went to fourth grade with a kid named Steve Zwicky. He used to steal cigarettes from his mother’s purse and smoke them on the playground during recess. He also wore pointy-toed shoes and had his dark hair combed into a greasy D.A. I’m pretty sure there’s no connection.
Scientists at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, the town whose annual New Year’s Day parade has already been cancelled, have predicted that the odds of this rogue object actually hitting the earth are one in 240. But what do a bunch of scientists know about these things? Odds-makers in Vegas are saying one in 108.
The scientists are also maintaining that should the asteroid even survive entry into the earth’s atmosphere, it would do no harm because it only weighs seven pounds.
How in the hell do they know that? Did they send a crew up there to weigh it? No, because they’ve not even seen it except that one time. And, by the way, I would suggest that a seven-pound rock traveling somewhere in the neighborhood of 11,000 miles per hour would hurt like all get out if it hit somebody.
At the very least, it could turn somebody’s backyard into a swimming hole.
And has Dr. Fauci—America’s Scientist—weighed in on this, yet?
I wanted to talk with Nostradamus, the famed Gallic seer who claimed to have seen it rain frogs and didn’t even write a folk song about it. He allegedly predicted the French Revolution, the rises of Napoleon and Adolf Hitler, both world wars, the nuclear destruction of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and the wild success of the “Law & Order” television franchise in a cheery little volume known as Les Prophéties.
What a dinner guest he’d have made, huh? I’d have cut my throat before dessert.
Anyway, the number I had for him was no longer working. One would think he’d have foreseen the disconnection notice.
We’re at a point in history where scientific discovery is widely scorned. While I am well aware that most of the serious scientific inquiry is currently being conducted on YouTube and other social media platforms, it is curious to be reminded that hard data—that which is collected through rigorous experiment, testing, observation and random dart-throwing—can so quickly and callously be tossed aside in the name of commerce or politics. (Think coal. Think masks.)
The biggest scientific question right now is who knows best about the transmission of infectious diseases? Is it a medical doctor with an impressive curriculum vitae and years of practice, or the polyester-clad used car salesman who believes the 2nd Amendment is the Constitution in its entirety?
I knew science would prevail.
Somebody who interloped on a FaceBook conversation I was having recently suggested that participants in academia contribute little to society. The fact that he apparently failed to benefit from their contributions speaks volumes.
Personally, I would hate to hire an engineering firm to design an industrial complex without its having a staff of people qualified to undertake such a project. Many scholars in many complex areas of academia would have contributed to that firm by having once taught its employees.
This, of course, reminds me of an old joke Norm Crosby used to tell. He’s at the doctor’s office and looks at the diploma displayed on a wall. The diploma doesn’t say anything other than that the doctor has a medical degree. “Anybody can get that diploma with a ‘C’ average. I want to see the report card. I want to know how he did in liver.”
One of the things that is disturbing is how unwilling many people are to recognize or admit their limitations. They prefer to hang on to vacuous ideas that have readily been debunked—just not to their satisfaction. Toss into that group the climate deniers, the science deniers, the anti-vaxxers, QAnon, and the whole group that believes the U.S. government keeps in hiding a whole force of captured UFOs in an area of New Mexico that is America’s largest Super-Fund site, unless you count New Jersey.
What is it that occurs in one’s brain when told that human beings once rode domesticated dinosaurs to their factory jobs five thousand years ago. My guess is that nothing occurs in such a person’s brain. And yet, such a believer wants to be Montana’s next governor.
Not knowing one’s limits can be perilous. For instance, every time I ever attempt to do something mechanical, I get hurt. Hammers think that my left thumb is a target and they rarely miss. Every time Geri tries to cook, there’s a fire. See?
We were among the few without Zoom during this pandemic because I was afraid that I couldn’t figure it out without the expert guidance of an eight-year-old, of which we have no ready access. When a friend told me that any damned fool could install it, I was then afraid I might prove him wrong.
Although I have been known to consult with Doctor Google from time to time, we have actual doctors who answer our medical questions and tend to our medical needs. Most of them will readily admit to not knowing something which will lead them to send us to somebody who might. I think this is an excellent strategy for the practice of medicine, or just about anything else. It’s why I have almost a score of doctors.
I have the same approach when my car needs service. I take it to somebody who knows how to do that type of thing. That way, I don’t get hurt checking the oil.
I don’t understand why knowledge and expertise have fallen out of favor with so many and, some going so far as to actually deride it. Albert Einstein, after all, took violin lessons.
But after all of that, I’m betting with Vegas on 2018 VP1. What do a bunch of scientists know about odds-making?
Photo montage by Courtney A. Liska
Provencal Vegetable Gratin (Tian)
This has become one of our favorite side dishes. It goes with just about anything and makes for a great light meal. Of course, it is best at the end of summer when tomatoes are at their best.
6 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil, plus more
2 large white onions, thinly sliced
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 tsp. chopped fresh thyme
1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper
6 cloves garlic, minced
1 lb. medium zucchini, cut into 1/4-inch slices
1-1/2 lbs. small eggplant, cut into 1/4-inch slices
1-1/2 lbs. ripe tomatoes, cut into 1/4-inch slices
Basil leaves
Put oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add onions and season with salt and pepper. Cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Add thyme, red pepper flakes, and garlic. Cook 2-3 minutes more.
Heat oven to 400°.
Spread the cooked onion mixture in the bottom of a large earthenware baking dish, about 9 by 13 inches. Arrange the zucchini, eggplant, and tomatoes in alternating rows: Start by making a row of overlapping zucchini slices, standing them vertically on edge. Follow with a row of eggplant, then a row of tomatoes in the same manner, packing the rows tightly together. Continue until the baking dish is filled. Sprinkle the surface of the vegetables generously with salt and pepper, drizzle with olive oil and top the thyme sprigs and torn basil. Bake for 30-40 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature.
“plus more!” ha! you’re awesome.