Louisiana wasn’t the only, but it was the first to find a way to bridge that narrowing gap between church and state.
It chose to enact Republican legislation requiring that the Ten Commandments be displayed in all of the K-12 classrooms of the state’s public schools, as well as at publicly funded colleges and universities. The size of the poster has been mandated and the font must be one that is “easily read.” I gather that the “Jokerman” typeface wouldn’t qualify, though if ever a font could reflect on the content in which it is used Jokerman wins hands down.
Louisiana is ranked forty-seventh in scholastic achievement. Acknowledging that, one might think the focus might be one of improving its failing educational standing by considering math, science and reading as important to scholarly achievement. But no. Apparently those blessed by an indoctrination of faith have little need for challenging the brain. However, it should be noted that the posting of the Ten Commandments could be a first step in the study of mythology. Religious zealots argue that the document is less a religious text than it is a historical one. They argue that the instructions handed down by God to Moses in the Book of Exodus are a major influence on United States law.
I worry about people who see the Bible as a historical document that has no precedent in reality. The Bible is, after all, a collection of stories and lore that promote views of a world guided and defined by myth. There is no proof that Moses ever existed, let alone God. But that won’t stop the true believers from foisting their beliefs on others. It’s lonely in those mostly empty pews and how, after all, can a religion exist without congregations willing to donate their hard-earned cash to whichever leader stands on the altar of submission.
As much as I enjoy the idea of commandments ordered by other religions that should accompany the Top Ten, there is a greater need to keep the whole bunch of them at bay. There is probably not enough wall space in a typical classroom to post Judaism’s 613 commandments, let alone posting the Five Pillars of Islam or the Five Precepts of Buddhism. Just for fun, we should lobby to post the Seven Tenets of Satanism. Balance, after all, should be represented in all scholarly pursuits.
But all of this bru-ha-ha is much for naught. Reasonable people with the funds will send Dick and Jane to private schools where traditional religions are replaced by the study of medieval thought in the Dark Ages. Others will shrug their shoulders. Still others will join protests of limited scope by carrying signs that say “Keep the Faith.” I’m siding with the ACLU which will quietly win the legal argument by reminding the Supreme Court of the First Amendment and its implied promise of the separation of church and state. The earliest inhabitants of white people from Europe, came here to practice religions not allowed in much of Europe. If only they had left it at that rather than trying to push their ideas of salvation on Indigenous Peoples. Combined, Native tribes had more gods than Jews have commandments.
Meanwhile, California’s Governor Gavin Newsom, a Democrat, has jumped feet first into the child-management pool by proposing legislation similar to that which Gov. Ron DeSantis, a MAGA Republican, foisted on the students of Florida. Newsom has proposed a statewide ban on using cellphones in classrooms. Such state overreach might be expected from DeSantis; it would have seemed unlikely from Newsom.
I would have thought that individual teachers would set the standards for cellphone use in the classroom. After all, there are students whose need to monitor Tik Tok is as profound as the need for air. The State won’t recognize that because it clearly states in the proposed legislation that air is more important than Tik Tok, though not by much. Oddly, there are actually teachers who don’t care if their students are more interested in playing Candy Crush than they are in memorizing the Periodic Table of Elements. Those are not considered to be good teachers and they deserve to be fired, replaced by much younger teachers who are similarly addicted to their cellphones but are willing to work for less pay.
The question of enforcement of this proposed law in California must be asked: “Who’s going to enforce this law?” The answer is simple: the teachers.
That won’t fly because most of the teachers are too busy teaching self-defense rather than Beowulf.
Clearly, the answer to this conundrum is to hire armed guards to be stationed outside every classroom. Like TSA, they will conduct searches of the students, looking for cellphones and guns.
They will also be forced to read Beowulf, an epic poem seen as a Christian allegory in which Beowulf, the champion of goodness and light, fights the forces of evil and darkness. It’s a first draft of The Adventures of Batman. It’s also the lead entry on the Why-do-we-have-to-read-this-crap list.
The Ten Commandments are much shorter to read, its message so easy to comprehend that it has been at the root of most of the wars we’ve declared on each other since Moses came down the mountain.
You can even download them to your smartphone.
Illustration by Courtney A. Liska
SCALLOPS
This dish is rich and savory, and easy to prepare. The sauce is velvety and should be sopped up with a crusty baguette. I would pair it with a dry rose.
12 large scallops
1 small carrot, minced
1 scallion, thinly sliced
3/4 cup dry white wine
1/4 cup butter, cut into pieces
1-2 tablespoons heavy cream
pinch of saffron threads
salt
a little chopped parsley
Heat oil and butter in a skillet over medium heat. add garlic. When bubbling slightly, add scallops, turning gently until done (about 6 min.) remove scallops from skillet and keep them warm while finishing the sauce.
Put the carrot, scallion, wine, a pinch of salt and 1/4 cup water in a pan; bring to a boil and simmer for 10 minutes.
Boil the cooking juices until reduced, then stir in the butter, cream and saffron. Pour the hot sauce over the scallops, garnish with parsley.