He laughed a lot, and his laugh was infectious. It sounded something like a cackle with emphatic squawks thrown in for some kind of good measure. The tones changed without warning, each marking the vocal changes a 13-year-old boy must endure as part of growing up.
We’re not laughing this week. Tony, a talented, smart and precocious kid with lofty ambitions that changed from week to week—astral physicist, concert pianist, movie star—left us for reasons we will never know and will never stop wondering about.
He was part of a large family of loving people that my daughter joined about four years ago as friend, lover, soon-to-be-wife, surrogate step-mother. We got invited to the party. He called us Grandma Geri and Papa Jim, and we took on some of the pleasurable duties of attending band concerts and plays. We kept track of his report cards, let him have all the ice cream he wanted, and celebrated birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, the three holidays of summer, and those no-occasion potlucks as any family might.
Life without Tony will, of course, go on. We are charged with enduring the loss, knowing that the void will not be filled and that the numbing pain will persist. We will cling tightly to the memories we have and always wonder about what a more complete life would have brought.
Laughter will return. Just not his.
Photography by Courtney A. Liska
[Courtney and I are going to take a week or two off. See you soon. Love each other.]
Michael Sanders says
Tony, (and everyone bearing this weight)
Although I did not know you personally, my daughter Laine, was your friend. May peace follow you through eternity. Love.
Michael
Jan Lukenbill says
There is nothing I could say that could ease the pain you are feeling. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Donna Pace says
Fly free little bird with the captivating deep voice. I will forever miss you. I too have to say “No words”
Traci Isaly says
Thank you Jim…your words are thread together in a beautiful tribute to this young soul. Much gratitude to you, Geri and Courtney, for embracing this family with so much love and open arms. Your guiding wisdom and big exposed hearts have nourished where it was greatly needed. As you stated…we will never know the reasons for Tony’s sudden departure, but this I know…we are all forever changed.
It will only be through continued love, support and community that this family and other families who have suffered such loss, will regain any measure of footing in life and proceed with hope for a future.
I agree with your parting words…Love each other. ❤️??
xxo, Traci Jo
Patti ford says
So sorry for the pain you are going through. You will here his laughter. If you listen he will be there. I just dreamt about TJ last night. Hugs to you all if I can help in anyway I am here for all of you. ?
Jill Holyszko says
We met him only once. We will never forget him. After meeting him, we smiled and talked about him all evening. So, so, sorry.
Aaron & Terri Busby says
That was beautifully said! Our hearts are breaking. Sending so much love ? Please, if there is anything we can do to help, we know Sean and Court can’t think right now so our offers go unanswered, if you think of anything….
Aaron and Terri Lyn (Sean’s cousins)
Bingo says
Tears for you all.
Bingo says
Tears for you all.
Melissa says
I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Julie says
We are sorry for your loss. This a beautiful tribute. My daughter was in many of Toni’s classes this year. His loss will be felt for a long time to come. -The O’Dea Clan
Kristina says
Very beautifully written. Prayers and love to you all.
George Robinson says
My condolenceses to you and Courtney Jim. It would be wrong for me to say that time will heal the wound left by the loss of a loved one, especially a such a young person. It really won’t. There will always be empty places in your hearts. Try to fill them with happy memories of Tony. I known that that will help. Love to both of you❤️
Laura Bolduc says
Lovely picture and memories, thank you Jim and Courtney.
Donna Shore says
Love you for sharing this, Jim. So deeply felt by me.
Suzy says
Oh, my heart….so sorry for such a devastating loss.
Dawn Roche says
Beautifully said!
So sorry for your loss!
Life will be different, Never the same, memories will last forever.
Prayers and Strength
Dawn Roche
?Trevor’s mom??
9-26-91 — 7-6-2018
(I went to HS with Becky)
Wendy Belding says
I am so saddened by this post. Sending my deepest condolences. Warm regards, Wendy Belding
Bev LoPorto says
My heart bleeds for this terrible, gut wrenching loss. What could possibly be the driving force behind such a meaningless end to a life of promise never to be fulfilled? I grieve for a young soul I do not know…and yet a soul known to each of us.
Stacy says
I cannot imagine your pain. I will pray for you as God is my only comfort in my hard times. May he comfort you and you find strength in him.
?
Katherine Noto says
I am so truly sorry for the loss of your beautiful grandson. The unanswered questions suicide leaves a family and friends can haunt for a lifetime. I have no words of comfort. There is nothing to say to bring you peace. I am simply sorry.
Lori carlettini Geldert says
Never meeting Tony but with the anticipation of having that pleasure being married to a friend of the family, we are sending deepest heartfelt condolences to all who love this beautiful boy. Rest peacefully sweet angel.
lori carlettini geldert says
Beautiful sweet boy…
Rest peacefully Tony
Kathy says
A friend shared your post Jim, I’m so sorry for your family’s loss…and I’m sorry your grandson felt this pain, seems he was well loved while he was here.
Stefani Galvan says
I only met Tony once. He was a close friend to my daughter Kylie. She was angry when she came home from school today (Monday) because everyone acted like everything was ok. But for her it wasn’t. You are all in our thoughts and prayers.
Nicole says
Please give her a big squeeze for me. ???
William Edwards says
Our sympathy to you and to your family at this very sad time.
Rayleena Cruz says
I first met Tony the night of Taste of Livingston. He was bright eyed and ambitious to do so well at the tasks he was given. He stood out to me much more than any other young adult helping that evening.
The following weekend, a father came in with his three children to the salon I work at to get haircuts, and one of them was Tony. I was actually so excited and commented on his great work that evening. The look on his face reminded me of a warm summer evening with bright pink skies.
Afterwards I’d see him riding his bike around town occasionally. I’d ask myself and wonder how his Sister City program was going, or how school was.
I can say I didn’t know Tony very well, but the limited interactions I had with him, his step-mother and the rest of the family were
enough to permanently touch my heart. He will be so missed?
Cynthia Kohler says
Jim I’m so sorry for you and your family. Much love to all of you during this time of sadness.
Vanessa bednar says
His loss will be forever be etched in everyone’s heart he touched. My son has been devastated by his loss. He will be missed and forever remembered. He will never be forgotten. I am so sorry for your loss.