By now, the detritus of confetti, ticker tape and balloons has been removed from the floors of the two sites for summer political action, we turn our attention to the nearing of that November date when we the people decide who gets to occupy the Oval Office for the next four years. Actually, I might be wrong about there being ticker tape, an item no longer in use by the stock exchanges and therefore unavailable for parades and political conventions.
Anyway, the dust has settled in Milwaukee and Chicago and the candidates from the two major political parties have been chosen. Those candidates are busying themselves by crisscrossing the country while still managing to land in a swing or battleground state for their nightly banquets of over-cooked chicken and rice pilaf. (Never order the fish.)
This essay was initially imagined to be about Third Party or Independent candidates. The herds of these whack jobs down through the ages have never been in short supply, but none was more colorful and implausible as Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., son of the more familiar RFK who was assassinated in 1968.
Depending on how you might skew the polls to be favorable to one candidate or another, RFK, Jr., has “suspended” his run for the White House. His five percent in the standing polls is unremarkable until you consider his pledging his support to Trump.
Junior has gone to great extents on his way to what was always considered a dead end. A drug addict for 14 of his years, he is something of a man of mixed messages. The crazy conspiracy theory advocate was busted after a heroin overdose on a flight to Rapid City, South Dakota, to enter into a treatment program for drug addiction. Can we say, “irony”? He worked as an environmental attorney and is an anti-vaxxer and a proponent of the ridiculous claim that the most immune from COVID were Ashkenazi Jews and Chinese. My Eastern European heritage failed to prevent me from getting COVID three times.
Diagnosed earlier this year with “brain worms,” Junior has blamed the affliction on a dead bear cub he picked up in Upstate New York and traveled to Central Park to pose the carcass with a bicycle.
At this point, it is hard to believe that he has even five percent of the polled vote. Kennedy was a leader of those who frequently got their information from social media, cable news, and YouTube.
He dominates, along with Trump, a subset of people described as “low-information voters.”
Basically, whatever two-bit idea that came along was fodder for the half-wit Junior. His scattershot aim at science, liberals, the media, Bill Gates, Stephen Hawking, and the television show “The View,” were among the demonstrations of what might be called paranoia.
His fellow outliers for the Presidency were people with a more defined agenda: Green Party member Jill Stein (don’t pollute), self-help author Marianne Williamson (use your bootstraps), and Libertarian Chase Oliver. The Libertarian position might not be well defined but, in a nutshell, basically says we need Big Government to create No Government.
In the past, supporters of Ron Paul and his idiot son, Rand—the optometrist who likes to pose as a medical doctor—have been noted for living in old Subarus (typically red) with all of their worldly goods stacked to the ceiling. Apparently, theirs is a statement of something or another, but nobody knows for sure.
Single-issue campaigns have dominated the so-called Third Party or Independent efforts. Alabama governor George Wallace, crippled by an assassin’s bullets, ran as an anti-civil rights activist who turned 180-degrees with the help of Jesus. But his salvation was overshadowed by his 1962 racial stance, two years before the passage of the Civil Rights Act: “Segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever.”
An Illinois Republican member of Congress, John Anderson saw a sea change of his own views in 1979, a year before campaigning for the Presidency as a liberal Republican. He strongly criticized the Vietnam War as well as President Richard Nixon’s actions during the Watergate scandal. Anderson entered the 1980 Republican presidential primaries, introducing his signature campaign proposal of raising the gas tax while cutting social security taxes.
As an independent candidate for president, H. Ross Perot, alternately seen as a non-political and witty “folk hero” or a “short-tempered” “authoritarian,” ran his 1992 bid for the office on his plans to balance the federal budget, further economic nationalism, strengthen the war on drugs, and implement “electronic town halls” throughout the nation.
A colorful character with an eventful life, Perot went from being a Navy officer to an IBM salesman before making his fortune as the founder of a data processing company, which he sold to General Motors in 1984. His role in the race gained him no Electoral College votes, but he was nonetheless considered a spoiler that helped Bill Clinton win his first term.
An almost-spoiler in that same campaign was Pat Buchanan, a Washington insider who made a name for himself in the Nixon administration and later the Reagan White House. From the start, he held deeply conservative beliefs and staked his place as the father of the culture wars—particularly when it came to gay rights, abortion, diversity, and immigration.
Ralph Nader ran on a progressive platform of campaign finance reform, universal health care, affordable housing, free higher education, a living wage, marijuana legalization, criminal justice reform, labor-friendly policies, environmental protections, and higher taxes for corporations.
Nader went on to receive 2.9 million votes, falling short of the five percent goal. But he did win 97,488 votes in Florida—a state Gore lost by only 537 votes. There’s a good reason many Democrats still bitterly blame Nader for Gore’s loss in 2000. If Buchanan harmed Gore’s chances, Nader, many believe, dealt the fatal blow.
One can’t help but wonder what effect the parade of whackos and weirdos will have come November 5.
Photo illustration by Courtney A. Liska
Steak with Herb Sauce (Bistecca Con Salsa delle Erbe)
A great summertime dish with vibrant, fresh herbal flavors. Serve with roasted red potatoes and carrots.
1 cup packed basil leaves
1 cup packed flat-leaf parsley leaves
2 Tbs. packed fresh oregano leaves
1 Tbs. packed fresh rosemary leaves
1 Tbs. packed fresh thyme leaves
1 Tbs. packed fresh tarragon leaves
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1 24 oz. 2″–3″-thick rib-eye, strip, or porterhouse steak
Put the herbs and garlic on a cutting board and finely chop together. Transfer herb mixture to a small bowl and stir in 1/2 cup oil. Season herb sauce with salt and pepper, cover with plastic wrap, and set aside for at least 1 hour to let the flavors meld. Meanwhile, put steak on a plate; season generously with salt and pepper and rub with the remaining oil.
Build a medium-hot fire in a charcoal grill or heat a gas grill to medium-high. Cook steak, flipping once, until browned and cooked to desired doneness, 8–10 minutes for medium rare. Transfer steak to a platter and let rest for 5 minutes. Slice steak against the grain and spoon sauce over top.