Standing in the evening shadows of Notre Dame cathedral, you can inhale the air wafting up from the imperceptibly flowing River Seine. Aromas of various forms of pollution mix with the overwhelming smell of diesel fuel, motor oil and sewage—each of which is a vile form of pollution. Barges and houseboats line the shores of the river while tour boats and push-tows navigate their ways to destinations unknown to the observer. An escape to a crepe cart helps provide olfactory relief, tastes of Cointreau, strawberries or chocolate that fill the delicate pancake.
In less than a month, Olympic swimmers will dive headfirst into the famous Seine as they remind themselves not to ingest any of the water.
This whole notion of using the 483-mile long Seine is a bad idea gone almost good. It was somebody’s vision of a spectacle that was tossed out during the initial planning stages of this year’s summer games. Nobody told him to sit down at the oval-shaped table and keep his bizarre ideas to himself. On his own, he pursued his idea—quietly outlining a plan that would pass muster with the Olympic committee and whatever group it is that runs France. The Olympic committee wanted money for its approval; the French just wanted cheese and cases of Czechian Viognier.
Officials are enthusiastic about holding swimming and diving events in the river and are confident that the use of the waterway—only a tiny portion of the river will be used in competition—will help add excitement to the otherwise boring swimming and diving competitions. Underfed competitors from around the world have been assured that while they might get a snout full of watery excrement, there at least won’t be that awful aroma of chlorine that fills indoor swimming pools.
Rest assured that the Paris Organizing Committee is confident that it will be possible to use the Seine, although events could be cancelled if pollution levels are too high. Pollution experts are busy keeping tabs on the river, recently noting that “pollution of fecal origin” was higher than permitted.
“Pollution of fecal origin” is the worst possible kind of pollution, said a committee spokesperson.
Cleaning up the Seine is a $1.5 billion “ambitious plan” to open it to public swimmers by 2025. It’s been illegal for 100 years to swim in the river because of high pollution levels. There have been cases of people growing extra limbs and suffering from norovirus and severe diarrhea from swimming there.
The E. coli is nothing to fool around with; it can actually lead to migraines, swollen ankles and death.
Rain is the enemy of those wishing to use the Seine as a swimming pool. The slightest amount could make E. coli show its ugly head, figuratively speaking.
A sample of water collected by the Pont Alexander III bridge, in the city’s center, showed E. coli levels two-and-a-half times the level considered safe for swimming. That, apparently, isn’t enough to keep French President Emmanuel Macron and Paris Mayor Anne Hidalgo from swimming in the river to prove its cleanliness. (Macron, it should be noted, might be ousted from office by then, thereby avoiding the challenge.)
Early testing was attempted by scientists using kayaks, boats that allow the occupant to be closest to the water. Made of polyurethane, they started to warp and melt when coming into contact with the water. Now, a year later, the boats no longer become disfigured when launched. “That’s significant progress,” noted one of the scientists, adding that they had gone through a few dozen boats while trying to collect data. Asked why they didn’t collect samples from the shores or bridges, he looked dumbfounded.
Paris, frequently called the “City of Bridges,” has several of them spanning the Right to the Left banks. The most famous of them all is Pont Neuf, which means “New Bridge.” Pont Neuf is actually the oldest bridge—oh, those French—its construction being started in 1578. All of the diving events will take place from eleven different boards and platforms scattered about the bridge. Yet to be constructed are the locker rooms where divers can wash the Seine off their bodies. The diving events will not be held until the locker rooms—whose builders have joined three other labor groups to go on strike—are built.
Cleaning the River Seine has been led by scientists from Cleveland, Ohio, who helped clean up the Cuyahoga River after it caught fire and Lake Erie, whose chemical contents were nearly half of total measures. Sadly, many of them could be characterized as doddering, but they have shown great interest in solving the biggest problems featuring swimming competitions: how does one divide the river into lanes and what does one use to mark them?
Illustration by Courtney A. Liska
Steak au poivre
This is a classic French bistro dish that’s easy to make and full of peppery flavors. The sauce is a savory delight that will accompany the mashed potatoes that are a perfect accompaniment.
4 (3/4- to 1-inch-thick) boneless beef top-loin (strip) steaks (8 to 10 oz each)
1 Tbs. kosher salt
2 Tbs. whole black peppercorns
1 Tbs. vegetable oil
1/3 cup finely chopped shallots
1/4 cup unsalted butter, cut into 4 pieces
1/2 cup Cognac or other brandy
3/4 cup heavy cream
Heat oven to 200°F.
Pat steaks dry and season both sides with kosher salt.
Coarsely crush peppercorns in a sealed plastic bag with a meat pounder or bottom of a heavy skillet, then press pepper evenly onto both sides of steaks.
Heat a 12-inch heavy skillet (preferably cast-iron) over moderately high heat until hot, about 3 minutes, then add oil, swirling skillet, and sauté steaks in 2 batches, turning over once, about 6 minutes per batch for medium-rare.
Transfer steaks as cooked to a heatproof platter and keep warm in oven while making sauce.
Pour off fat from skillet, then add shallots and half of butter (2 tablespoons) to skillet and cook over moderately low heat, stirring and scraping up brown bits, until shallots are well-browned all over, 3 to 5 minutes.
Add Cognac and boil, stirring, until liquid is reduced to a glaze, 2 to 3 minutes. Add cream and any meat juices accumulated on platter and boil sauce, stirring occasionally, until reduced by half, 3 to 5 minutes. Add the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter and cook over low heat, swirling skillet, until butter is incorporated. Serve sauce with steaks.